It’s not like the cute cartoon
where I come home after a bad day and just
seeing you—or being with you—
is enough to fix me.

The problem is not companionship. Yes—
I love you. But my brain is broken.

My emotions and depression don’t care
who I’m with or where I am.
I can be lonely
when I’m with someone—

and that type of alone is more profound and breaking
than being alone.
Because I don’t want to feel
alone with you.

But the darkness is not so easily dismissed—
it embraces the light.
Because shadows grow darker
the more intensely it shines.

I didn’t choose this—
so why would I be able to reject it?
There is not a switch.
I am not sad—

I am depressed.



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